My Heart Hurts

In the loneliness place of despair
I am still lying to myself
Nothing has changed...
I am still wanted and loved.

As a nose extends with a lie
My heart beats with stronger definition
As if it is trying to warn me of self deception
But honestly I don't want to see.

There was a time of inclusion and need
Where I was wrapped in strong arms of love
Doubt was but a theory of nonexistence
Joy was found in the simplicity of being together.

My life was full of anticipation and excitement
There was nothing more to be added to a moment
The smiles couldn't extend further on our faces
Our moments together were raw passion.

I find myself in a constant blur of emotions
Wondering if there will be a we when the dust settles.
My heart is pulled in opposite directions
Pleading for peace, needing love to survive.

My brain is stronger than my heart
I can overrule the reality of my heart's despair
I can live in an imaginary world of love
That existed in the recent past, I think.