The next day....

So it's the day after my biopsy, which OMG...it hurt so bad. There were 2 key components that made the biopsy absolutely unbearable. The first is they have you lay on this long skinny bed going into the CT machine on your side. I layer down at about 11am with my arms over my head and my legs on top of one another and then couldn't move a muscle until about 145. My left should felt like it was going to burn through to tomorrow and my knees were in so much pain on top of one another, not to mention they lay at least 10lbs of lead on top of them. Ugh. So then without sedation they gave me around 5-8 shots of lidocaine in my back but each shot went deeper than the first so they hurt more and more instead of less and less.
So the second part that killed was the actual biopsy. Since you can't move and can hardly breath the put this small tube in your back, between your ribs and in through your lung. Then they put this needle in through that and stab at the tumor. Holy shit, it hurt so bad. Once the needle is in the tumor they start to bounce it up and down trying to gather samples of the tissue but it feel like he was dribbling a needle in and out of my back. He did this 5 freaking times! The last time of which he used a 20 gauge needle. AH! I couldn't move or breathe when they were finished yesterday. Every single motion instigated a monstrosity of pain. I almost sneezed but somehow managed go keep it in because I'm pretty sure it would have killed me.

So now I guess we sit and wait for the results. I am def better today but still hurt. I feel at such a loss because I still don't know anything and part of me feels like the doctors arent going to have any feedback because the PA doing the biopsy said he pulled the same kinda cells the first 4 times. I still don't know what I'd do if they told me its cancer, puts me at a loss for words. The quote getting me through right now is from Leo Buscaglia again that says, "Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it just saps its joy from today."